Once again, God has taken one topic and highlighted it a couple of times and in different ways to me.
At lunch on Sunday we were talking about the “connectedness” people have through social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter, yet with all these “friends” and “followers” who has true face to face friends? Isolation breeds loneliness, through many technological methods we have found a hollow candy coating to disguise the true state of our hearts.
Even if you are surrounded by people you can be utterly and devastatingly alone. A wise woman told me years ago that the loneliest place in the world can be the space between a husband and wife in bed. Just doesn’t matter if it seems like life has given the greatest support system, family or friends. Others can look at your life and have no idea how isolated your life might be.
I’ve known and know loneliness. It pops up at the most unlikely times. And in this post, I’m not knocking my husband, kids or friends, but I’m learning to look at loneliness in a new way. My thoughts here are just the beginning of my processing. So jump in and comment over the next couple of entries.
I’m not interested in the lectures about “getting out there” or getting involved in activities, because I think I’ve found some amazing new teaching on the subject of loneliness. And I won’t write about the guilt producing, finger pointing solutions to loneliness at all. But I think I’m learning that loneliness can be something to be embraced and something that can actually enrich my life.
4 responses so far ↓
MRW // November 3, 2009 at 5:54 pm |
Kristen…..I’m ready and waiting to hear some good stuff! I’ve dealt with loneliness off and on all my life. Maybe it’s the “Orphan spirit”. Anyway, let’s go, girl! I’m all ears!
Brian // November 4, 2009 at 11:16 am |
I’m single and always have been so I deal with loneliness frequently. I’ve found some good ways to deal with it include visiting my parents, calling a friend, praying, and listening to Christian radio.
completefaith // November 17, 2009 at 2:28 pm |
I will try to not make this to long winded, but this is something that is close to my heart.
I grew up in a time where my place in the family was a bit confusing. My parents married young, and I don’t believe that was the right choice for them, so I don’t harbor any hard feelings towards them for their divorce while I was still very young. I can’t even remember them living in the same house.
As a result of this I grew up with my grandparents, and always understood my position in the family, and always thought it was normal. I never doubted anyone’s love for me, never believed there was a chance that there might not be food in the refrigerator, or a pool to go swimming at. That was my family, and that’s what I knew.
Then I started school, and quickly learned that wasn’t the normal family dynamic. At that time, about 1976, most kids still had both of their parents at home, and I quickly became the odd duck. Looking back now, most of the kids I feel in with were those living in a single parent home. Back in those day’s it was still better to be married then not, according to South Dakota Society anyway, so a lot of those kid’s mothers found husbands, which meant the kids would move away. Short term relationships became common for me at that point. There is one family that stands out in this story, and I want to at least mention their last name, because they were a blessing to me at that age. The Welbig’s, their boys still live in the area, and I see them from time to time, and it just does my heart good to see that.
Anyway, not to cover every stage off my life I will just say that I have never really been able to establish a friendship with deep roots. I just don’t know how to do it. My best friend is my wife, beyond that there isn’t a single person in this city that is not related to be my blood that calls to say, hey, how’s it going?
All that said, I am used to loneliness, it’s been my closest friend for most of my life. At times I even struggle with things like keeping open lines of communication with my wife and kids. It’s fellowship that I struggle with, and don’t feel like I am good at.
Now that I have hijacked this post, I want to say that there are good things to be found in those quite places, and sometimes it drives me crazy to watch people who are not able to be alone for any amount of time, to the point that they are willing to accept less than they are capable of, or deserve just for companionship. But at the same time, life Steve says, we are not meant to live life alone.
God Bless everyone, and I look forward to what Kristen has to say on this.
midnightcry // November 17, 2009 at 4:57 pm |
Dear Jeremy,
Thanks for your sweet note. You did not hijack my blog…that’s the kind of response I hope for.
I suspect that the things you have written here are precisely the things that have given you a sensitivity to the Spirit that most folks don’t have. You have embraced Jesus in the loneliness while others have “self-medicated” (in a variety of ways) to avoid it altogether. Which does nothing but postpone the lonely feeling’s impact to a later date.
How do we honestly deal with the questions of this life of faith…what does it really mean to wrestle with the loneliness? Got a new post out today, got the second one brewing in my head. so hang on here comes my thoughts.
Everybody…please let me know what you think.